butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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