Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
