I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
