I wanna bring you to show and tell
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
