She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
