I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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