I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
