The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
