It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
