i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize