I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it was like eating out sand paper
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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