Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize