Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
