How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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