i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize