Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just saw a hot homeless man
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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