But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sorry about my life...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
