He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
