im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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