I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
