worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
