Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
