Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
