Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
