He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
