I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize