Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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