they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
