How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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