Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize