hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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