Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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