He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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