I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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