we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
