She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
