I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
