i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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