By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
