hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
