fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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