ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Drake has all the answers
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
