Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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