You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
