Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
