so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
thus making me awesome and them whores
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
