According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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