I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
