stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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