it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
