i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
