he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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