just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
