You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Found the puke drawer
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
