I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize