Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
