Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize