help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
