Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
