The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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