i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
