Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
