Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
