Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
These tits shall not be calmed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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