she was so not down for the gang bang
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
pop tarts are not kleenex
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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