You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
