why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
