I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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