Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
